I blame my work schedule. Really, I do.
It’s because I don’t work the same days every week and I get all
discombobulated and can’t remember which day it is on any given day. It’s because I don’t have a normal 9-5,
Monday through Friday schedule and therefore cannot be a creature of
routine. That’s why.
That’s why I can’t find my Kindle.
There are a lot of other things to blame on my schedule, but
let’s focus on this one. I last
saw my Kindle on Sunday – Superbowl Sunday, to be exact – which was my last day
of work before today. I was eating
lunch in the breakroom, sometime around 12:30 in the afternoon, a good THREE
HOURS before the Superbowl. As is
my habit when I “dine alone,” I bring a book and in this case it was my Kindle
Paperwhite 2013 (which I highly recommend). I remember being horrified that there was pre- pre-Superbowl
coverage on the TV in the breakroom, and I remember checking my smart phone for
lord knows what on Facebook and I remember that I didn’t actually read my
Kindle at all during lunch.
And that’s the last time I remember seeing it. I was so distracted by my perceived
meaninglessness of the pre- pre-Superbowl programming that I can’t remember
what happened to the Kindle after that.
But I didn’t yet register that. I had the next two days off and spent my valuable time
running errands with the Spazz and taking the Beast to the vet. I woke up extra early this morning and
was still late getting out the door (okay, obviously I do have some routine….I
am routinely leaving home later than I should for work). I ran to get my Kindle from it’s place
on my night table and IT WASN’T THERE!
I did a quick toss-up of areas in my home frequented by the
Kindle, then hustled out the door.
As soon as I got to work, I asked my coworker (who was there with me on
Sunday) whether she had seen my Kindle.
She had not. Desperate to
continue reading my Lena Dunham memoir, I composed an email to the entire
Emergency Department staff, asking if they had seen my Kindle.
Yes, I felt like an asshole. Most staff-wide emails about lost items are for finding
misplaced stethoscopes. I’m
looking for a Kindle.
No bites all day.
I go home and ask Spazz if he’s seen it. He remembers the last time he saw it being several days
before my last sighting, so that’s no help. But Spazz and I proceed to search the apartment again, and
he even goes down to the garage to search my car.
At this point I think it is gone forever, so I load the Kindle
app on my smart phone and open Dunham’s book. I go to the kitchen to do some dishes and at one point I
turn around, and there’s the Kindle on the kitchen counter. Now, I know it wasn’t there ten minutes
ago, so I look at Spazz. He looks
at me with a smile on his face.
“Where was it?”
He is super-amused and very self-satisfied. “It was on your night table.”
“No it wasn’t!
I looked.”
Spazz took me into our bedroom to show me exactly where he
found it. Rather than it’s usual
place on the lower right corner, I had, for some unknown reason, placed it
under some items in the upper left corner. So I am a creature of routine after all…..I didn’t even
think to look for it there. We are
talking about a maybe 18 square inch surface, by the way.
Email to the Emergency Department staff the following day:
“Kindle found.
Crisis averted. Thank you.”
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