Oh my god, it's hot. New York hot. The kind of hot that actually slows New Yorkers down. So much so, that I was actually walking faster than native New Yorkers during rush hour. I just wanted to get to the next air conditioned location, so I was moving fast, dehydration be damned.
Now, I've definitely lived in weather like this before. Which is why I live in Los Angeles. So here's my take on my nearly first 24 hours back in the Baked Big Apple.
1) It's one thing when the City is dirty. It's a whole different thing when the City is hot and humid and dirty. It smells bad.
2) $2.75 for a papaya juice (which I KNOW is not ALL papaya juice) at Gray's Papaya is grossly overpriced.
3) New resolution: I will not waste my money on roadside hot dogs here when there are so many better places to eat.
4) Sluggish New Yorkers need to get out this crippled Angeleno's way. You're moving too slow and I'm dusting you with a bum knee.
5) I get mean when I'm uncomfortable. Let me make a public apology to A. (who from now on will be known as "Chatty Cathy") for being a complete asshole to him.
6) Chatty Cathy doesn't want to open his map and look like a tourist, however, he thinks nothing of talking incessantly on the subway about all the things he wants to see.
7) How did Carrie Bradshaw walk all over New York in 4 inch heels? I was wearing my Keens, which are practically orthopedic shoes, and my dogs are seriously barking.
8) When I lived here in 1988, taking a cab was against all things holy to me. Now, in 2010, at my age and with my trick knee, taking a cab is now considered injury prevention.
9) H&H Bagels are still my favorite. However, lesson learned today: Don't allow Chatty Cathy to go off in search of disinfectant wipes while you wait in a bagel store; it's hotter inside than out.
10) While a museum is nice and air conditioned, the gazillion screaming children swarming the place make the whole idea less attractive.
11) A planetarium is a great place to catch a snooze. A 24 dollar nap narrated by Whoopi Goldberg.
So this is all I can squeeze out of my brain so far. I write this while icing my knee and cooling down in my brother (the Prince) and his girlfriend's high rise apartment. I'm working up the energy to meet the Prince in Times Square for a show tonight. I don't care if it sucks, it just has to air conditioned.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
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