Well, yet again, we are nearing Christmas (aka my pre-birthday) and I am experiencing my yearly December meltdown. Here's how this goes (every year):
Halloween happens. I haven't gotten my shit together for that either so when it happens, I fill the pumpkin head with good fun-size candies and hope for trick-or-treaters. They don't come. We live in the what-can-only-be-considered slums of a very swanky city and our neighborhood gets no play when Halloween comes to town.
After Halloween, I start thinking about buying holiday gifts for family and friends and then I stop. Thinking. About anything. Except whether or not I'm working on Thanksgiving and what my contribution to the potluck will be if I do have to work Thanksgiving. If I'm not working, I'm planning on where the Spazz and I are going to celebrate Thanksgiving, as this is a "we have to be someplace" kind of holiday when we are not working. And by "someplace," we don't mean our own home.
Around Thanksgiving, I start to think: "I should really start making my gift list." Yes, by now it's too late. Recently, Chanukah has arrived way to early for my level of procrastination and so I start the holidays behind the 8-ball. But, you see, Chanukah is not the only December deadline I have to deal with.
I grew up in a family of late-December Capricorns. This is how it went: first, my grandmother's birthday; then mine, then, all on the same day, my mother's, and both of my grandfathers'. All within 8 days. Not only that, there were several cousins with birthdays in this time frame. This alone made December my hell month. Then we get to add Chanukah and Christmas for all the people I know outside of my family.
When I married the Spazz, I added another December birthday (my mother-in-law) as well as a late Capricorn: the Spazz himself. In addition, I now have friends with kids born around this time and, since I know what it's like to have your birthday riding on the tail of Christmas, I make sure these kids get their birthday gifts as well. And then there's my good buddy Mags, with the worst birthday of all, just a few days after New Year's.
I'm already exhausted.
This year was especially difficult with the passing of my grandmother (that first December birthday), just after Thanksgiving. I could say that this impacted my December Downer Days, and it kind of did, but I'm still at the same level of frazzle as I am every year during this time.
Every December I feel like the world is closing in on me. We send holiday cards, but we're never on time for that either. Then we receive holiday cards from people not on our list and we have to hope that we have some left over to send. Work is another freaking nightmare; back when I was the only one of my kind in the Emergency Department, there was no gift exchange. Now there are 10 of us sharing an office and everyone gives gifts to everyone. This is madness! Earlier this year, one of my coworkers and I talked about setting up a Secret Santa project to prevent this rampant spend-fest, but, again, I completely forgot about it (I blame my coworker) and I just spent the last week worrying about what to get my coworkers.
They all have gifts. My family does not. And Chanukah was over 2 weeks ago.
So, I spend December shopping while listening to maddeningly terrible Christmas songs being piped into the stores. My husband asks me daily what my plans are for my birthday, as do my parents (who visit every year for said birthday) and I cannot think of anything because my brain is swarming with gift lists, holiday card lists, thank you note lists, and too much fucking candy and cookies. I have gift bags and tissue paper and ribbons strewn about my apartment. And then I have to also worry about my parents' visit because my mom wants to visit every distant cousin we have in the LA area as well as my in-laws, but then my parents are only here for 2 days, and "have you thought about what you want to do for your birthday?"
And here's the kicker......Christmas happens, my birthday happens, New Year's happens, and then there's this weird kind of....silence. The madness stops rather abruptly and I'm left with a tree that needs to be taken down, menorot that have to be cleaned, and the strange after-holiday deflation that I'm sure many people feel.
I'm also left with a ton of holiday cookies, candies and treats.
